Obama Trendies Want Mandatory Helmets For Walking
Should the government enforce the mandatory use of helmets while walking? 14 out of 20 people we asked at the University of Texas supported the draconian measure, emphasizing once again how the majority of the general public will accept almost any nanny state measure no matter how ludicrous. ● The petition was entitled "Compelled Helmet Use for Misfortunate Public' (CHUMP), and called for the City of Austin to enforce mandatory helmet usage for all citizens in addition to the creation of special walking lanes where people could walk obliviously while texting on their cellphones. ● Most of the individuals who signed the petition had it explained to them very clearly. Some signed straight away, while others took a little convincing but happily put pen to paper. One woman was told that the petition was to "get people to wear helmets while they're walking," to which she responded "oh perfect, yeah, that's great," and immediately signed the petition. When another man indicated his willingness to sign the petition, a woman responded, "You wanna make everybody wear helmets?," to which he responded, "these dummies need to wear helmets." "It will help keep insurance costs down," another woman is told as she signs the petition. "We have socialized healthcare now, so everyone's responsible for everyone," another couple were told. After being told that schools are now banning dodgeball and other contact sports, another woman agreed to sign, remarking that enforcing helmet use, "Makes sense technically." "I think UT we're super trendy, so we can get it, what starts here changes the world, another woman is told, before responding, "I'm down for it." "Of course, tickets for anyone without helmets, God speed, we can do it," comments another trendy after signing the petition. The notion that authorities would seek to mandate some form of control measure to make walking safer is by no means a stretch.
Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have rejoiced in their loss of freedom, who hail him when he speaks of [...] more security [...]. - Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC)