This is the End

Dr Vernon Coleman

I’m told that rich, posh people put their children down for Eton before they are born – probably before they are conceived. Well, these days, we have to make an appointment to see a doctor before we fall ill and an appointment for an ambulance before we need one. And you have to book a heating engineer well before the central heating boiler breaks down.

I forgot to fix a breakdown appointment when we had hot radiators and hot water so we’ve been freezing for ages and we’re likely to stay freezing – probably until the summer, if we get one this year. After last year’s cold, nasty summer I can’t remember what sunshine feels like. Hence the hat, scarf and gloves I’m afraid. Oh, how I wish someone would invent some way to warm up the planet.

Actually, the failure of our boiler is more interesting than you might think. As you doubtless know birds won’t roost near to the 5G transmitters which have been erected all over the world. We used to have a parliament of crows living in trees close to our house. A transmitter was put up in the lane recently and the crows have moved house. At the same time workmen in a plain van appeared and spent two days digging up our lane. There didn’t seem to be a reason

Within weeks of this happening our phones stopped working, our Wi-Fi became so erratic that it takes hours to put up articles and videos on our already heavily attacked sites, our TV and DVD player remote controls stopped working, our freezer broke, our cooker gave up the ghost and, yes, you’ve guessed it, our boiler stopped working due to an electronic problem of some kind. Oh, and the car’s electronics went on holiday. And we’ve both had worrying and slightly mysterious headaches. Coincidence? I think not. I don’t believe in them these days. The dirty tricks get dirtier.

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