As If In A Daze

R. B. Johannessen

Consider for a moment the world to be like an infinite cloud, one in which you’ve been living your entire life, one in which there were no limits and where the cloud never stopped being a cloud. You’ve had it wrapped around you since the beginning of time. In this cloud people and things have been appearing, seemingly for you, and out of nowhere. It was always like that; there never was anything else than your world, never anything else than this.

Over the years you’ve become better at managing your fears, better than you used to, and have come to feel more secure, even though things are not quite as you would have preferred them to be. But anyway, it’s your world, the normal one, the one you’ve grown used to. You’ve made some choices and have created this world in some sense, according to what you needed and to what you thought was right. The things you didn't like appear to be «gone» now. Maybe there were people you didn’t like; they’re «gone» now too. You'd like to keep it this way.

Nothing wrong with this, necessarily — we’ve all been there. However, in this world of yours you may not have considered the possibility that there could be a «somewhere» outside your cloud, and that if you were there, you would see other clouds too, and that you could move back and forth a bit, as you wished. From this point of view, you’ll see your cloud as a cloud and yourself as...well, yourself. You would also find that not everything within your cloud was really ever self-evident or «natural», and that there always were other possibilities as well.

Later you’ll also find perhaps that things cannot really be «gone», that they don’t simply cease to exist, just like that, and that things never really «happen». It is the same with people — they are not simply «born» or «die». Ultimately, there's no such thing as time — no past, no present or future. Maybe you’ll realise at some point that all the energy that ever existed and that ever will be is here now. It has always been like that, and profoundly so. Therefore, there cannot be any «outside», essentially, nor any «inside» either. It just seemed to be like that for a while. You’re almost back to where you started from...but it feels different now. You don’t quite know what it is, but there’s great freedom in it.


The title is from H.C. Andersen's The Ugly Duckling. Image from PickPik. The author writes poetry HERE.


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