Living in a Car After False DV Charges
Dan Abshear
Informaproject
The Fight Against The Toxic Domestic Violence Industry
"I'm presently losing this battle, but I continue to stand up after I've been slammed to the ground several times already. I'll stand up again."
In August of last year, I received false accusations that began with claims of violent spousal abuse by my former wife of 20 years.
As a result, I have experienced criminal arrest, incarceration, conviction, and loss of freedom. I've also discovered that the color orange of the inmate attire is definitely not a good color for me.
The night my former wife accused me of violent crimes, she commited the act of parental kidnapping. In addition, she left the scene of the crime that she fabricated. These issues were never addressed by the family law system.
I've been denied access to my 11 year old daughter entirely. The pain of this particular injury is indescribable.
I was rapidly removed from my own home. So I'm now homeless, unemployed, and I was not long ago living out of my one remaining asset out of what was thousands of dollars of assets. This would be my 500 dollar car. Fortunately, I learned some tips from those I met in jail who are homeless themselves. There are many of them.
My primary concern since this has occured with me is the safety and well-being of my daughter. In fact, men typically do not leave an abusive relationship themselves because they often fear for their child's safety- along with potentially losing their relationship with their children.
Gender biased stereotypes have ultimately placed me at the mercy of those in this pathetic family law system we have in this country who absolutely know nothing about me. They do not care to know me.
The following was retrieved from www.mediaradar.org, '50 Domestic Violence Myths':
Women are just as likely as men to engage in partner aggression, according to hundreds of studies. Partner violence, if it happens, is often mutual. Self defense accounts for only fifteen percent or so of partner aggression.
Less than five percent of domestic violence incidents involve couples in an intact marital relationship, such as mine was. Studies show marriage is clearly the safest partner relationship. In fact, most cases of family conflict do not involve physical violence at all. Mine never did.
I have a restraining order against me now. Over 2/3 of restraining orders issued are determined to be either unnecessary or false. Also, these orders do not prevent future violence from happening.
In fact, restraining orders may encourage violence.
Also, if I attempt to reconcile any conflict with my former spouse, I will get arrested. If I send my daughter a birthday card, I will be in jail. I've not spoken with or seen my wife or daughter in over a year now. Yet I've been arrested often during this time.
There is overt gender bias in the family law system that exists today. For example, if a man kills his wife, he will get about 20 years in prison, as he should. However, if a woman kills her husband, she will get about 5 years in prison.
The etiology for this gap reflects the gender bias that exists. Also, in divorce court, women are granted sole custody of their children about 65 percent higher rate than men. There is in fact a frightening fatherhood crisis in our country in particular. All modesty aside, as a dad, I completely rock out loud.
I'm a victim of domestic abuse myself. I suffered over a decade of brutal physical and emotional child abuse that you likely do not want to know the details behind this fact. However, the propaganda fed to our society by certain women and victim advocacy groups must be stopped, and clarified by the facts.
Meanwhile, I suggest that others stay out of this system. Resolve your disputes through negotiation. Do not be compelled to share your dirty laundry with these anti-family law enforcers. Do not be forced to fight for your rights in such an unfortunate situation as mine in a courtroom. By that time, it is too late.
I'm presently losing this battle, but I continue to stand up after I've been slammed to the ground several times already. I'll stand up again.
Such family court and legal intervention is often used by others as a weapon or tactic that is freely available for them to utilize, and such people are likely mentally flawed, if not entirely absent of a soul.
I'm not angry or hateful about what is happening to me- this surreal nightmare that has manifested into a bizarre reality. I will not lower myself to be this way ever. And I will also never live in fear as a result of what is happening to me. If I do become fearful, I will lose this fight completely. And this is a fight I cannot lose. I love my daughter way too much.
So I likely will be in jail again. This is just a fact about my life now. That's OK, though. Because some battles need to be fought, and the results can lead to suffering.
So I fight.
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Illustration: http://www.co.yuba.ca.us/departments/hhsd/cws/images/splitfamily.jpg
Via: http://www.henrymakow.com/my_fight_with_the_domestic_vio.html
URL: http://www.a-w-i-p.com/index.php/2010/08/31/living-in-a-car-after-false-dv-charges
